Posts Tagged With: love
Ever since I can remember I have always had a yearning to care for animals and other small children. I was always the caring type. I always wanted to play house and doctor. I idolized my mom. She was so loved by all of us that I too wanted to be loved unconditionally. As I got older of course I reasoned with my self that I wasn’t ready for the responsibility so I just baby sat and treated my boyfriend like I was his mother. Always asking “are you hungry?”, “did you eat?”, “did you remember to clean your room?”.
I knew one day I would be a mom and until that day I wouldn’t be complete. I always felt like something was missing. Like I was forgetting something. I never let that hold me back but when I had my son I was stunned. I was happy.
After having my son and experiencing what it really is like to be a mom, I am speechless. I knew it would be hard and maybe for me it is a little easier because I am pretty much a natural but I was given a great challenge. A challenge to care for a child who would need a mom that has the patience of god himself, superhuman reflexes, abnormal amounts of strength, and a heart so big it would never run out of love.
Being a mom means being a super hero.
Being a mom to me means being a super hero. Not just any super hero. There is no glory and fame. There is no one cheering you on. Thousands of people wont love you. Everyone criticizes you. I am one of those hero’s who stand in the background. I live in secrecy. My mission is to take care of little Sage and make sure he lives to see another day. Conquering all evil that comes our way.
That might not really sound like a hero but when I look into his eyes I can tell that’s who I am to him. A hero. The person he calls for help whenever evil is lurking. The person who swoops in, in the nick of time to save the day from scratched knees, to the hungry growling monster in his belly. I wipe the booger monsters away and keep the evil ice queen and sun king at bay so that he never feels to cold or to hot. No night prowlers get passed me in fact, they won’t even get near as long as I am close by. Did I mention I move at the speed of light?
Sage being quite the adventurer my reflexes have to be lighting fast. Since before he could walk he was climbing all over tall obstacles, sliding down big kid slides and going towards trouble. He is the most curious kid I ever met who can learn anything just by watching you do it once. I think letting him watch Curious George at an early age was not my best decision.
So you see, being a mother isnt all I first thought it would be. It is much more than that. Being a mother means having great responsibilities while living in the shadows on edge so that I can pounce at the first sign of trouble. It also means being a bag lady if I want to be prepared at all times but sometimes I sacrifice not having absolutely everything he might want so that I have more strength to keep up with him. My little tornado is a tough guy who loves trouble but I love him more. I have conquered many fierce battles and because of that I see myself as one of the greatest hero’s who has ever lived and I hope that one day he does too.
Being a mom means devoting you life to your little one in exchange for booger kisses and smiles. I am pretty much OK with with those terms.
For this first post I feel like I should introduce the main character in my life Sage Nasir.
Sage is my 3-year-old son. He was born with gastroschisis. A birth defect that leaves a hole in the right side of the stomach, while he or she is developing in the womb, allowing for internal organs to pass through and develop in the placenta.
From the time I turned 19 weeks pregnant with Sage I was in and out of hospitals. His life has been the greatest adventure of my life. He changed me. Molded me into a different person. I faced a lot of challenges and conquered many fears. I took responsibility to the next level. I learned that having patience is very hard in the fast world we live in today. And, last but not least, i have learned my limits. Sage was my greatest win out of the many battles life has thrown my way.
We went through at least two years of hardship. I was homeless, hungry, and almost never slept. He went through two major surgeries almost dying 3 times. He caught a disease called Necrotizing fasciitis, a flesh-eating disease, that could have made things so much worse for us but I never let things slip. I never missed a day at the hospital and paid attention to every little detail. We had to live on edge for a long time. When ever we made a trip to the hospital I was always prepared to stay. I felt so lucky to have the team at Childrens Hospital of Philadelphia behind me every step of the way. Never losing patience with me and going above and beyond.
Today he is fun, active, and has a very unique personality. He allows me to bring the kid out in myself. He loves science, dinosaurs, and anything with an engine. He loves to run, jump, and play pretend. He has very good manners, knows how to put his own clothes and shoes on, and is so independent sometimes i want to cry. He doesn’t talk very much yet. He can only say a few words. Doctors think he might be autistic, but we are learning sign language very quickly and find it’s very effective in helping us communicate. However, Sage does make a lot of noise. He can mimic almost any sound. He is very clever.
I will be writing a longer more boring post about all the things we went through. Only because I know how I wish I had read about someone else’s experiences with gastroschisis before having to go through it myself alone. I hope that you find my blog entertaining and useful.
When on my blog you can expect random posts of silliness, book reviews, toy reviews, makeup reviews, short fiction stories, updates on my website, stories about Sage of course, and links to websites you might find useful. Follow me on my journey to become a self-taught web developer!
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